How many of you had ever felt that your heart broke into a million pieces?
How many of you actually hurt someone real badly?
How many of you tried to forget your past and miserably pulled it through?
Someone once asked me. "Is it very difficult to forget someone?"
I paused and reminisced.
Pondered. Yeah. How did I manage to forget one that I shared so many with?
Was it really hard? Was it really easy?
It wasn't. It wasn't easy at all.
Xspecially when everything around you reminds you of the littlest thing.
I tried many ways to forget my past relationship with JH (Fo those who knew bout him since my http://sex0.livejournal.com)
I would call myself a bitch.
I tried to be with guys whom like me a lot, thinking that I could forget bout everything.
Yeah. His friends might think, "She's really a bitch, She's too much."
I admit it was my fault fo doing sucha selfish act. But did anyone tried to see how I was feeling back then?
I thought I could simply forget bout everything and lead life peacefully without any flashbacks and all.
Then I realised, I shouldnt even being doing things like that.
Making use of guys to help me forget bout what I once had.
So, I allowed some singlehood period.
After some period, I tried letting guys in to my life.
Out of the 3 guys I tried being with, all of them left with the most immature reasons.
I was thinking back then, "Whats the problem with me?"
And I couldn't remember how was falling in love is anymore after JH.
I don't know how does the "courtship" should be.
I don't know how should "falling in love" be.
I lost all trust in men.
I lost all hope in love.
I just wanna say..
*Even when things seems to be crashing on you, even when you feel really helpless & breathless..
Be strong, it only takes a period fo you to stand up again.
Yes, the healing process is really harsh.
But, like what bloghopper told me..
If there's no rain, there will be no rainbow.
It only takes a second to break your heart
It takes a cold and harsh period to heal your heart
But if you'r able to pull through things. Notices that everyone is here fo you..
You would, in fact, be a stronger person to handle matters in future.
And when you'r still hurt and still trying to forget bout a certain matter..
Ask yourself..
"Does this really worth all the crying to sleep at night?"
"Does this really worth all the pause in my life to the happiness thats about to come/already came?"
Allow your heart to breathe.
Allow yourself to realise that, you haven't lost anything, but gained strength to move on.
If I manage to forget and move on in my life after what JH did to me in the past..
Why can't you? :)
And of cos, it only takes a matter of time to heal your wounds.
Like what I did, I allowed myself to move on.
And I found Tranny. :)
He taught me how to be stronger and allows me to know,
there'r still people who would love me.
Like how he's doing it. :)
HAPPY 8TH MONTH BABY.
If there wasn't you, I wouldn't know how would my life be now.
You made me realised LOVE could be real.
You made me realised that there's really someone there
to catch me when I fall.
If there wasn't you, I would never be so happy.
Thanks baby. Fo everything that you've done fo me.
i love you.
200308.
-withlovetoall.