Hmmx. Do you guys know that it has been 8 months ever since I've got a decent relationship?
After the relationship with JH, fo those who knew bout it.. or has been reading my blog since the Http://sex0.livejournal.com..
I never once have a guy that could love me truly.
The past relationships after JH was all crap.
And it really pulled me down real bad and made me gave up in love. And thought all good things cant be coming my way.
They would stop contacting me.
They would avoid all problems and act as though I was never once theirs.
Ask me why?
I couldnt give myself an answer too.
Tranny came. And I assumed he's just another guy like the past.
I remembered, the first time he held my hand.
He pointed at my love line and said, "in your love line, it shows, you wanna trust your love one but you couldnt.."
I was honestly shocked. as he hit the bull's eye.
I was too immune to all the cheating and lies.
And to be honest. I told tran.. if you ever wanna leave me one day, tell me honestly and dont avoid.
Lets just say I'm too exhausted to wanna make things work and last.
I'm just living as each day goes by.
But, I really do love tranny. and hope everything would last.
I wanna do alot of things with him but couldnt bring myself to tell him at times.
Cos I'm afraid he might make a promise to fulfill all of my needs but breaks the promises in the end.
I wanna travel with him.
I wanna carry bags out from supermarkets, hand in hand with him.
I wanna meet his parents and cook with his mother.
I wanna take care of all his needs.
I wanna bring him to meet my family.
I wanna.. I wanna be with him.
I might be thinking too much.
Cos we'r barely together fo 2 months.
But I guess its not all about the duration but how your heart feels isnt it?
He told me I'm different from the other girls in his life.
He told me he would be the one i could rely and trust on.
He told me he wanna be the last and only man in my life.
He told me, he wont make me cry. But the next time I cry is the day he put the second ring fo me.
Isnt all of these so fairytale?
But deep inside. I want all of it to happen.
And just now. When i was sleeping, I dreamt that he left me and just disappear..
It felt so real that I was so afraid lying alone in my room.
I really couldnt think straight and text him telling him bout my dream.
baby.. it would never happen, i mean it.
I think.. If he happens to be like the other guys.
I dont think I would put much faith in love anymore.
But fo now.
I'll just cherish what god's giving me.